Growing up for me, wasn’t your average type of living. I came from an abusive alcoholic household. My Dad beat my Mom every day and night. My Mom was also a drunk. She always left my brothers and me home alone to go party, even when we were babies. She’d leave us in the crib and go party in the complex next door. The family would have to come break down the door just to get to us. My dad was diagnosed as an alcoholic at the age of eight years old. Intense? He went to AA meetings all his life but kept leaving. Well, he nearly died four times but narrowly survived each time. My mom has been hospitalized at times as well. I grew up bitter, resentful and full of hate. I cared for nothing that had to do with love.
I was an atheist at first.
I didn’t believe in God or Satan. Then I was at a bookstore one day. I saw a black book and I was very intrigued, for no reason at all. I picked it up and I looked at it. I analyzed it with great care. It was a satanic book filled with the studies of witchcraft. I wasn’t sure what to do with it, so I put it back and left. I was still intrigued, because I couldn’t stop thinking about the book. I was telling myself it wasn’t real. It’s all made up, but I went back and bought it. That is how it started.
I loved Eminem, the rapper.
I worshiped him, as well as Satan. I had a Bible, but it was a satanic one. I would pray to Satan day and night. I started getting tormented spiritually, basically attacked and I loved it. I fed off of the attacks. To me, that was love, being attacked. I would beg the devil to attack me when I wanted to feel love. I did witchcraft, drugs, cut, was in deep depression and enjoyed every moment of it, due to Satan’s power over me. I then changed high schools. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, came along and fell in love with me at first sight. I couldn’t understand why someone would love me. He is from a Christian family, and I had no idea at the time. By the time I found out, I was already in love with him. We then got serious and he began to take me to church a year after. I refused to go at first. I was always mean to him and his family, whom I was now living with at that time. I always used blasphemy towards them when they would talk about God to me. I couldn’t understand why they kept letting me stay there. Also why my husband, boyfriend at the time (Alonso) stayed with me. I always yelled at him, he’d never yell back. I was like, “okay, what is with these people?” I’m screaming at them trying to possess them with the devil, and yet, they just smile and walk away. I was waiting for someone to get mad at me, yell at me or say something negative so that I can feed on the devil. But, nope.There was none of that. I needed it, because that was love to me. Until I finally realized what love really was. Alonso then took me to church one day, I gave in trying to make him happy. The Pastor came to pray for me. He said that he loves me. Everyone in the church came to me and said I’m welcome in the church and that they loved me and that I am loved and not worthless. I couldn’t get around it. I was so confused. Then about a year after I was going to church on and off. I then went to get prayed for and that was when the real changes started! I fell to the floor, as I was possessed. This powerful prayer ministry lasted about two hours or so. It was a very intense deliverance, or so I heard. I woke up out of it and I threw up. I was shaking and I could not keep conscious. Alonso carried me to the car, I sat there not saying a word for three days. Then I felt free. Of course, I was wishy-washy for a few years. God one day, the devil the next. Two more years after, I gave my life to God - completely. I have been in the walk with God for over nine years now.
I got baptized!
I am in awe for God. Sometimes I still don’t understand why He chose me. But then again, I do. My dad is now sober, praise be to God. It has been six years since he has had a drink. He is now a counselor for AA. His day job is an Audio Engineer. He has been doing that his whole life, but now he is sober while doing it. My mom is still a drunk and druggy. I’m working on prayer for her, my dad is, too. Alonso and I got married in September of 2006. We have two young children, Myanah and Isaac. Praise God for what he has done. I am now SO STRONG in the Lord!
Thank you for taking the time to read my testimony! May God bless you by this, amen.”
Luke 1:37 "With God nothing shall be impossible."