Growing up my mom and dad divorced when I was young. My Mom taught Karate and was a single parent doing her best to raise us. We stayed with my great grandma a lot (was named after her). I would watch her play the piano. I had three older brothers, La Mont, and my twin brothers Joe and Frank. The twins went from break dancing to gang banging in a fast downhill slide. I would hang out with them quite a bit, I saw a lot when I was with them, guns, drugs the street life. I wanted to be like them, I believe that triggered some of the homosexuality thoughts that I started to have. Just how they had a lot of pretty women. My brother Frank was shot in the chest in a gang related shooting that nearly killed him. I was raped by one of my brothers Gang friends and they beat him up pretty bad, put him in a hospital. My mom remarried a nice Christian man and He put me/La Mont in a Christian School. It helped a little. I then started going to public schools again my freshman year, playing high-school basketball and noticed a lot of the girls were lesbians. This interested me and as a result I got involved with them and turned out. At the time I actually had a boyfriend but started hanging out with the wrong crowd. Keep in mind I was kicked out of many schools due to fighting. One time I had brought guns to school just making lots of bad choices really. I needed a father figure desperately and finally found it in the form of a pimp. I left Portland to turn tricks in Seattle. Things were so bad I got scared to the point I didn't want to do that any longer, so I came back home. I was constantly running away from home living with friends or on the street. I had racked up quite a few relationships with girls and now a criminal record. I stole a car, got caught and put in jail for about 90 days. Once I got out and did my community service and completed my court ordered requirements. After that was settled I decided to pack my bags and leave Portland. Through all of this I managed to put out a tape under my rap name at the time “151”. “Drank no chasa”, was the tape title. The 151 was in reference to Bacardi Rum that is 151 proof that’s 75.5% alcohol! I thought If I left to California, I'd fulfill my dreams as a rap star. I was living with my girlfriend at the time and let’s just say 10 years later (alcohol, racking up debt, drugs, girlfriends, men etc..) In November of 04 was when I really decided to stop practicing homosexuality as a lifestyle. Then I surrendered my life to Christ July 2005 later that year in December of 2005 I was baptized.
Life After Christ
Shortly after my surrendering my life to Christ my brother Joe tried to commit suicide, sadly the 2nd time he was successful. He died on April 9th, 2006. I then talked with my brother La Mont and decided to leave my job, my nice Long Beach condo-style apartment and head back home to Portland to be with family. I stayed there for 5 years. Now I'm in Cincinnati trying to repair my life and network with other Kingdom minded-believers who are on fire for Yeshua! My life is still in repair from the mistakes I've made BUT GOD is my only hope to continue striving! I try not to dwell on the past, but it's there. Throughout my life I've hurt a lot of people and most of all myself. I’ve learned you just have to deal with it the best you can and share your life with others so they don't head down the same road. Since coming to Christ, I've put out 5 positive gospel albums, started a network for other women in music to build unity and I've serviced several ministries with music production and graphic/web design services. Now I use my skills and abilities to help others. Just because I'm saved doesn't mean I haven't had trials, tests and yes, tribulations arise! I've had my apartment broken into, hard drive with all my songs for God stolen, I've had people who hated Christ hack into my site and web store and literally pull it off line, hack in to my personal PayPal accounts, delete email inboxes and the whole 9 yards. I've had malicious attacks online for standing up for what I believe to be truth which is whatever the Holy Bible says. So it's not a walk in the park when you come to Christ but I'm reminded of the Bible verse that says "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell." (Matt 10:28) As far as relationships go I'm still single, gaining momentum and always striving toward holiness. I'm on the God’s surgery table when it comes to relationships with men but He has really done a major work in my heart to allow it to be open again. In regards to debt, I'm still working to get myself 100% debt free but that is my ultimate dream. I believe with God's help and hard work it will become a reality. Today my mom and I are so close and she continues to be a great source of encouragement and live in my life. Everywhere I go, I listen to the Holy Spirit’s voice to see if He's leading me to share the gospel with someone. Post offices, grocery stores, wherever...whenever.
There's so much more hard times and tragedy that has occurred in my life but I didn't want to make the story all about the bad. I want people to know that God had his hand on me the whole time and still does till this day. He loved me enough to die for me even when I was in sin. Now all I want to do is share about His love.
"...In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37